Everything You Need To Know About Introverts

Source: somewhere on the internet. If you know, please comment so I can give credit where credit's due. I decided to post this because so many people do not understand what it's like to live my life.

Top 10 Myths About Introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. 

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. 

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public. 

Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird. 

Introverts are often individualists.  They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds. 

Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.

Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.

A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

How To Care For Introverts

• Respect their privacy.

• Never embarrass them in public.

• Let them observe first in new situations.

• Give them time to think. Don't demand instant answers.

• Don't interrupt them.

• Give them advanced notice of expected changes in their lives.

• Give them 15 minute warnings to finish whatever they are doing before calling them to dinner or moving on to the next activity.

• Reprimand them privately.

• Teach them new skills privately rather than in public.

• Enable them to find one best friend who has similar interests and abilities; encourage this relationship even if the friend moves.

• Do not push them to make lots of friends.

• Respect their introversion. Don't try to remake them into extroverts.

Also watch this educational video: True Facts About the Introverts

Features the quote which is basically my life: "A good way to annoy an introvert is to tell it, 'You're so quiet'. No shit, asshole, what's your point?"

The Truth Hurts... and This is Mine

Warning: This entry will be more 'controversial' than any of the existing ones. Also, swear words. A lot. You may be traumatized if you're not used to seeing me talk like this. If you still want to keep that sweet, happy image of me in your mind, please do not proceed.

Inget waktu aku bilang ada sisi diriku yang nggak bisa kubagi dengan siapa pun di dunia nyata kecuali orang-orang tertentu? Well... belakangan ini sisi tersebut udah terlalu lama dipendam dan sekarang ada sesuatu yang perlu dikeluarkan.

Untuk alasan tertentu, mohon maaf atas penggunaan bahasa campuran karena, damn it, the English vocab is way more expressive.

I'm perfectly aware this is a public blog which means anyone can read it if they ever found out about the URL. And even if I've never mentioned my name here, it's not like it's a huge secret either. But whatever. I need to let this out and I left my diary back home. And I don't feel comfortable dumping my drama on the people I trust not to judge (because I'm not sure they want to hear it). And maybe a part of me is also hoping that by putting this out in the open like this, then one of the people involved in the drama will read it and know the truth about what I think.

It's been a few long years filled with drama at home. It's partially (or largely, I suspect) why I fled all the way across the world. I was tired of being miserable. I couldn't live in that hell anymore. It's not my problem, and I'm young. I'm not supposed to live like that. I'm supposed to live my own life, discover myself and all that bullshit, carpe diem, and be happy.

Which I did since I got here, so that was the right decision. Maybe I should thank the drama after all since it propelled me to leave.

But anyway, the point is, my parents are not in a good place. I'm not going to into details about their drama, but suffice it to say they hate each other these days. And today I got news that they're not even talking anymore, and they're even sleeping in different rooms.

It's news like this that makes me want to beg and plead my way out of my home country and stay here forever and ever. This is my happy place.

But that's not the thing that infuriates me the most. What makes me most frustrated is the phrase that has been uttered over and over again during the whole time this happened: that I am supposed to be their salvation. People keep saying I'm the only one who can fix this situation, who can return peace into our home, who can make my parents see the light.

Well, GUESS WHAT, WORLD? I'M NOT A FUCKING MESSIAH.

I can't solve your problems. It's YOUR problem. It's YOUR drama. Why the F should I involve myself in it. Why the F should I have to be the one to fix it. THIS MAKES NO SENSE. They are my parents. Maybe they should help me fix my problems, but it isn't the other way around. They're grown ass people. They're supposed to KNOW BETTER. They're supposed to be wiser. To place this burden on me like so many people have is fucking unfair.

What if I don't want to 'save' my family? What if I'd rather they get separated and be happy each with their own lives? Nobody has ever asked me that. Of course not. Of course everyone assumed that I wanted us to stay a family. But guess what? This may come as a shock, but there's no point in keeping up the illusion if nobody's actually happy. Maybe it's time to cut our losses and give up. Maybe it's past saving. Maybe we'll ALL be MUCH HAPPIER if we were NOT together.

Did they ever think of that?

Of course not.

It is times like these that I wish we weren't a bunch of people stuck in old principles and ideas about love and family. Because let's face it; the love's gone. It has been gone for a long time. And maybe nothing will ever bring it back. And sometimes, you just have to accept it and move on. Sometimes, you're not meant to keep fighting. Because it'll only make things worse.

If the choice were to stick to your 'obligation' and stay together for the sake of image or pride or whatever or do what needs to be done so you can be free and happy, why the hell would anyone pick the former? I'm a hopeless romantic, and even I can see that this situation is not salvageable. You can't force someone to love you if they don't anymore.

Or maybe I'm just a cynic and a pessimist.

But I'm also realistic. I know one of them is not the kind of people who believe in divorce, but it's not like they haven't done it before. If it was so easy the first time, why is it so hard now? It's not like their kids are all still young. We're all grown ass adults too now. One of us is married. I'm the youngest and I'm a freaking quarter of a century old. So what, I ask again, is the point of staying together?

No one's going to get beaten up over it. I suspect I will actually throw a celebration if they finally did it.

For God's sake. It's all very simple to me, but people are being ridiculously idealistic and I'm just so angry. I'm not even sad or upset anymore. I'm freaking FURIOUS over this whole situation.

Sort your stuff out; you're all behaving like children. And I thought you're supposed to be the parents.

No love,
- Your apparently much more mature daughter

And this is my truth. I've finally set it free.

Judge me for that all you like, I don't even effing care anymore.

Terinspirasi...

Setiap kali aku kembali mengunjungi Superbyq, aku jadi terinspirasi untuk nulis di sini lagi... Sayangnya, aku selalu lupa untuk berkunjung ke sana lebih sering *ditimpuk*

Rasanya aneh nulis pake bahasa Indonesia lagi. Setelah beberapa tahun terakhir aku mulai berpikir dan bermimpi dengan bahasa Inggris, dan setahun terakhir betul-betul tinggal di negara berbahasa Inggris, rasanya aku makin kehilangan bahasa ibuku aja. Sempet berpikir untuk nulis ini dengan bahasa Inggris juga, tapi... blog ini udah konsisten ditulis dengan bahasa Indonesia, dan ini mungkin berguna sebagai tantangan untuk kembali mengenali bahasaku sendiri.

Mikirin soal Byq dan pertemanan lagi, aku jadi kepikiran satu hal yang pernah aku singgung ke dia beberapa waktu lalu. Aku bukan orang yang punya banyak temen. Temen sungguhanku bisa diitung dengan jari, dan sahabat aku cuma punya tiga. Walau begitu, aku punya jenis temen yang berbeda-beda. Dan rasanya, mereka kenal aku dengan cara yang berbeda-beda pula.

Sahabat-sahabatku kenal sisi terbaikku. Mereka sudah kenal aku sejak SMA, tapi masih banyak hal-hal tentang aku yang nggak kuceritakan pada mereka. Banyak 'rahasia' yang kusimpan dari mereka, banyak pikiran-pikiran yang nggak kubagi. Byq kenal sisi 'kurang sempurna'ku. Dia kenal bagian dari diriku yang bitter, terutama di masa-masa kita kuliah. Dan bagaimana aku bukan calon ibu yang baik dan nggak sesabar yang sahabat-sahabatku mungkin kira. Ada alasan kenapa orang-orang tertentu mengenal sisi-sisi yang berbeda. Karena nggak semua dari mereka bakalan mengerti sisi-sisi tersebut. Sahabat-sahabatku, misalnya, nggak akan ngerti kalo aku komplain soal universitas tercintaku. Mereka nggak akan ngerti kalo aku betul-betul pengen ngebom tempat itu. Dan mereka nggak akan ngerti bagaimana lima tahunku di sana penuh kesengsaraan. Byq mengerti, dan bukan hanya karena kami melaluinya bersama-sama.

Apakah kita berbagi hal-hal tertentu dengan orang-orang tertentu tergantung dengan hubungan kita dengan mereka? Absolutely. Aku merasa nyaman mengumbar semua sisi kurang menarikku di depan Byq karena aku tahu: she won't judge me. Ironis karena sahabat justru orang yang seharusnya punya definisi itu, tapi... kenyataannya aku nggak merasa nyaman membagi beberapa fakta tentang diriku dengan mereka yang kupanggil sahabat. Bukan salah mereka, sih. Some judgments we make subconsciously. Without even meaning it.

Teman-temanku yang aku kenal dari dunia online mengetahui sisiku yang lain lagi. Mereka mengenal sisi penulisku, mereka tahu betul gaya menulisku, tipe jalan cerita favoritku, tipe-tipe karakterku, nama-nama karakter favoritku. Obsesi-obsesiku terhadap karakter-karakter fiksi di media. Mereka mengenalku sebagai orang yang sangat berbeda dengan yang dikenal keluarga dan teman-temanku. Mereka juga melihat sisi-sisiku yang jarang atau bahkan nggak pernah diperlihatkan ke orang lain. Hal-hal yang kutulis yang mungkin shocking buat orang-orang lain dalam hidupku. (Percaya deh, nggak semua tulisanku bisa kuperlihatkan ke orang-orang di sekitarku). Dan dengan cara yang sama, I'm never afraid that they will judge me or my writing.

Punya jenis-jenis temen yang berbeda itu mengagumkan. Karena setiap orang punya sisi yang berbeda-beda walaupun tanpa multiple personality disorder. Rasanya aku nggak punya satu orang dalam hidupku yang kenal semua sisi diriku. Mungkin itu sebabnya aku belum menemukan Mr. Right... Karena aku masih belum merasa nyaman betul-betul jadi diriku sendiri sepenuhnya dengan siapa pun.

P.S. Abis baca-baca entry lama, jadi inget persaingan 'sehat'ku dengan sepupuku yang akhirnya juga masuk universitasku tercinta. Mau tahu update terakhir dari persaingan kami? Tahun ini dia juga sekolah di UK, tepatnya di Newcastle. Hebat kan?